Change.

Change can be hard. Strange. It’s different than “going with the flow” or “dealing with it as it comes.” With all of those statements every single one of us still has an idea of how it should go. You can be the most spontaneous human being, but I think you and I both know that just because you choose not to worry over life, doesn’t mean unplanned events don’t happen. We all have expectations. We all have hopes and goals, even if they’re small ones. We were made to have ambition to all different extents. But life happens. Good things and bad things, which is all apart of the process.

I just recently turned 19, switched from a very low key part time job to a full time job, and got some very hard but much needed closure, all in a matter of days. I look at my life and I am nowhere near where I thought I’d be. 2 years ago I had a very different plan for what my life would look like. Feel like even. I still cry a lot. I laugh a lot too. I can’t really explain how change feels. It’s almost as if you know somewhere in the pit of your stomach that you can’t go back, even if you wanted to. And not just to situations or people but the person you were, because you’re becoming something completely different.

It was hard for me at first. Knowing that choosing not to give up not only made me stronger but also didn’t give me a choice of going back. For instance, accepting the fact that it won’t ever be that simple again. I’m an adult now, and life gets more and more complicated every day. Or committing the next few years of my life to working my ass off in order to live the life I’ve dreamed of. Or letting go of things because I have to be strong now. I have to finally choose myself. I could wish for a lot of things, and I have. But genies aren’t real, and I’ve had to forget “what if’s” and regrets and accept the fact that life going on is inevitable.

There’s no formula to dealing with change. It’s all a process really. And no, the changes going on in my life and maybe even yours, are not bad necessarily. I think it’s the fear of the unknown. Looking to the future without forgetting how hard you loved and how deep you felt. Pain, love, anger, happiness. It’s all still there. But it’s slowly developing our core person into it’s full potential. So with all of that, change is here. We can’t escape it, but in the end it happens for a reason, and we have to learn how to adapt, just like we always have.

love, Lo